A Christmas For Psychopaths?
by xGothicOtakux
Summary: Envy has told Wrath about Christmas and now Wrath wants him and the others to celebrate it. Will they have a Merry Christmas or will Envy's acting like a Scrooge get in the way? ( Envy x Wrath, sort of. )


**Oh god, I wish I had finished this sooner. D: I also wish I had time to write another chapter for Her Problem. Too bad I didn't get to. Oh well. I hope you enjoy this crappy fanfic! I don't own FMA. Rated T for Envy's attitude and issues. xD  
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"Envy, what is Christmas?" Wrath asked the slim homunculus who was walking beside.

"Just some stupid Holiday that people invented and it takes place on December twenty fifth, and 'Christmas Eve' is the day before. It's quite crazy if you ask me. Anyways, why are you asking me?" Envy glared at the boy.

"Ooooh... I overheard some people talk about it. Something about presents and trees..," Wrath shrugged. "What do people do on Christmas?"

"They give each other lame gifts, have dinner with family members they probably don't actually give a fuck about, decorate pine or fir trees. Stuff like that." Envy laughed.

"We should do that! We could invite the other Homunculi too!" Wrath grinned and clapped his hands.

"Are you kidding me? I'd rather commit suicide!" Envy scoffed at the very idea of them celebrating a holiday.

"It could be fun!" Wrath looked up at Envy.

"Yeah, and so could murder." Envy rolled his eyes.

"Please, Envy?!" Wrath made puppy dog eyes at the older boy.

"...Let me think about it." Envy stopped and looked down for a moment.

Wrath just nodded.

_"No."_ Envy smirked as Wrath frowned.

"Ennnnnnnnnvy!" Wrath pouted.

"No means no, now come on you little brat." Envy flicked Wrath and started walking again.

For some odd reason this holiday interested him, but Wrath decided he wouldn't say anymore, but he wouldn't give up. It was a week away from Christmas and he decided whether Envy liked it or not he would find a way to do something.

( The next few days )

"Okay, so I've got decorations and some weird stuff called mistletoe... Now all I need is presents.." Wrath frowned slightly. He had no clue what the others would want. Wrath sighed and decided he would go ask Envy.

"Hey Envy, if someone would give you something what would you want it to be?" Wrath mentally kicked himself hoping Envy wouldn't realize what he was planning. He wanted it to be a surprise, but he figured when Envy found out he might be pissed off about it.

"Eh... I don't know. Depends on who would be giving me something. But since I really don't give a shit about very many people it probably wouldn't matter." Envy shrugged and then narrowed his eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"Just a Hypothetical question... So if someone you did care about gave you a present what would you want it to be?" Wrath awkwardly tapped his fingers together continously while staring at Envy.

"Maybe something worth saving for once." Envy yawned.

"I meant something specific." Wrath put his hands on his hips.

"Well, I want the Elric brothers to die but I suppose no one's going to be able to pull that off anytime soon." Envy frowned.

Suddenly, Wrath got an idea of what he could get him.

"What's with that look you're giving me? It's creepin' me out.." Envy stared at Wrath.

"Nothing. You like blood and stuff right?" Wrath mentally smirked.

"I am a sadist." Envy shrugged. He looked at the younger boy wondering why he was so curious, and then he remembered how he had told him about a silly holiday on the twenty-fifth of December and how it had caught Wrath's interest. Envy narrowed his eyes, "I hope you aren't asking me this about all of that Christmas nonsense."

"What ever would make you think that?" Wrath made an innocently confused face, he looked like he should've been wearing a halo, but they both knew he was far from an Angel.

"Whatever, cut the shit and tell me the truth." Envy crossed his arms.

"..." Wrath said nothing but continued to act like he didn't know what Envy was going off about.

"I don't want anything from you, ever." Envy gave Wrath an icy glare.

"And I wasn't offering." Wrath wished he could've slapped himself, him saying that didn't brighten Envy's mood, in fact it had made it worse.

"Good, good, then we understand each other.. Now leave me alone, brat. Go color some pictures or whatever it is brats like you do." Envy scowled at him.

"...I-" Wrath was going to apologize but Envy cut him off before he could finish.

"Just save it! Go home and cry to your mommy. Oh wait.., she's dead!" Envy snapped and gave him a sadistic smirk.

Wrath felt tears prick at his eyes but didn't say anything. Envy felt a sting on his left cheek moments afterward, Wrath had slapped him, and not gently at that.

"Why are you such a jerk?!" Wrath gritted his teeth and warms tears slid down his face.

Envy didn't say anything.

"I hate you!" Wrath choked out along with a sob and left.

( On the afternoon of Christmas Eve )

"Almost done decorating.." Wrath muttered to himself as he stood on the tip of his toes to put a star on the Christmas tree, which was pitiful looking, "Damn... This was a major disappointment. It's better than nothing though."

Wrath got on a chair and nailed up some mistletoe while humming. He then got out a few pretty looking boxes with ribbons and cards attached to the ribbons.

"If I may ask, which I know I can, what are you doing?" Wrath shot his head around in a quick manner and almost fell over when he saw who had spotted him.

"E-Envy... Aren't you supposed to be with the others?.." Wrath forced a smile.

"Yes, but they got boring, so I decided to come back. It turns out, you're not just a brat, you're also a liar." Envy looked down.

"Envy! I was doing most of this for you.. Wouldn't you and the others want to know what it's like to be like a normal human?" Wrath looked at him sadly.

"Maybe, but that isn't the point. The point is, we aren't human! So why play pretend?" Envy frowned and kicked some tinsel out of the way as he walked over to Wrath.

"Envy..." Wrath blushed and looked down.

"What?" Envy looked at him curiously.

"We're standing under mistletoe!" Wrath took a step back awkwardly.

"The hell is missile toes?" Envy was even more confused than he ever could have been before.

"Mistletoe." Wrath corrected him and continued, "Mistletoe is a thing that if two people stand under it, then they have to kiss."

"Oh, lame." Envy shrugged.

"..." Wrath frowned at him, slowly moving closer to the older boy.

"What are you do-" Envy was cut off this time, Wrath had pressed his lips against his.

Wrath was shocked that Envy didn't pull away, the younger boy blushed and slowly pulled away.

"Just following a Holiday tradition..." Wrath smiled.

"...Ugh, that isn't the point! Didn't I tell you all of this Christmas stuff was a bunch of nonsense!?" Envy flicked him.

"Yes..., but since when did I start listening to you?" Wrath smirked.

"..." Envy just frowned.

"So anyway, the others should be here soon." Wrath stuck his tongue out at Envy who kicked him.

"You're such an idiotic brat.." Envy sighed.

Then door opened and Lust, Greed, Gluttony, and Pride all stepped in.

"What the hell happened in here?" Greed looked around acknowledging the decorations Wrath had put up.

"I kind of like it... Change of scenery. Though it doesn't quite suit our style. Too... humany?" Lust walked over to the Christmas tree and stared at the decorations.

"And there are boxes?.." Pride kicked at a box.

"Oh, can I eat the tree?!" Gluttony pulled a branch off of the tree.

"No!" Wrath snatched the branch from him.

Envy was just watching their reactions and snickered.

"Don't kick the gifts either, Pride." Wrath frowned.

"Gifts?" They all looked at him weirdly.

"Yeah, it's Christmas. You give gifts." Wrath handed each of them their gift from him.

"I'm opening mine first!" Greed ripped his open and tossed the wrapping paper and bow aside. Inside his box was a pile of money, a dozen or more hundred dollar bills to be exact.

"Happy?" Wrath looked at him.

"You could've done better, but I guess." Greed just shrugged and took the money.

"I'll open mine.." Lust smiled. She reached her arm into the bag Wrath had given her and pulled out a case of perfumes.

"I didn't really know what to get you." Wrath shrugged and smiled hopefully.

"Mmm, these smell good. Tropical, huh?" Lust sprayed some on herself and smirked.

Wrath nodded.

Gluttony looked at his gift for a moment and then ate it.

"What the hell?! You weren't supposed to eat that!" Wrath scowled.

"Whoops." Gluttony shrugged.

"I wonder what this is..," Pride opened his gift and looked at it. "Keys?"

"Yeah, there's a car outside for you that those keys go to." Wrath shrugged.

"Where the hell did you get a car from?!" Envy gawked at the boy.

"I stole it." Wrath shrugged.

"Convenient." Pride put the keys in his pocket and went outside.

"So what about me?" Envy crossed his arms.

"What about you?" Wrath shrugged.

"I mean, what did you get me?" Envy frowned.

"Oh, here." Wrath handed him a decent sized box.

"Okay..." Envy ripped the wrapping paper off and threw it and the ribbon across the room. He took it out of another box and then stared at it. Wrath had gotten him a bunch of horror/thriller movies.

"You okay with those?" Wrath stared at him.

"Yeah.." Envy grinned at him.

"Great!" Wrath hugged him and whispered, _"Merry Christmas."_


End file.
